It's Mother's Day weekend, and this means overwhelming cuteness from my kiddo. She hid this in the guest closet (the same place I hide her presents) and presented me with it today because she "was just too excited!" (something her daddy does all the time.) I was almost afraid to look inside, knowing there was a very real possibility that when asked a question about my favorite things, she might at some point say "bad words" or "wearing sweatpants all day." I avoided those gems, but there are others in here I wasn't expecting (wait for it--my favorite is the idea that I'm "as tall as a light switch"), which tells me a few things about being a mama:
The most important thing we do is NOT shuttling back and forth to events, practices, programs, and school. It's making cookies and going to coffee with them.
When we are happy, they notice--and they are happy.
Snuggling will always be the most important thing we can do (even when we forget to shut doors).
Because I know your curiosity is piqued, no, I do not wear my wedding dress around the house, but man, can I just say #goals. My grandmother wore her dress to costume parties until it was destroyed, and after reading this memory of Livvy's, I think she may be pointing me in that direction. If you got it, flaunt it, yeah? JK, I've had a baby...there is literally zero way I would fit into my wedding dress.
The real thing this Mother's Day gift made me think of was how I'm constantly wondering if I've messed up and somehow ruined my child's life. Yes, LIFE. I might be a bit dramatic, but still, this is a feeling I think we can all relate to at various levels.
Questions like am I feeding her the right things, is she getting enough interaction with other people, is she learning, are we reading the right things, does she know I love her even when I'm disciplining her...these thoughts plague me all day. I often think it's because I have one child and am, therefore, hyper-focused, but the more I talk to other mothers, the more I understand that whether it's one or six, kids always make us question. Those questions are what means we're doing something right.
Should I have told her there would be a reckoning if she didn't get her booty down the stairs and start brushing her teeth? Meh, who knows. Was there a better way to explain to her why we don't talk back other than "because it's my world and you're living in it"? Most definitely. But, those moments, though defining, are not the only moments that count. There are also the moments when we play spelling games and sing Taylor Swift or JT. There are moments when we play baseball in the back yard and eat pizza while watching American Idol. And there is the end of every day when we snuggle in bed with a book and our babies, and we read until our eyes are tired, when we promptly engage in a thumb fight to see who has to get out of bed and turn out the light.
And there's that sweet moment before I close her door that she blows me a kiss and I blow her one back.
I admit to bawling like a baby when I read these pages of my daughter's memories. She remembered my favorite color is orange, and her favorite thing to do with me is get coffee and cake...arguably, one of my favorite activities to do with my mama, which means I might not be on point all the time, but I am when it counts.
So, to all of my beautiful mother's, new and veteran, expecting and heartbroken, happy mother's day. You rock at this--don't forget it...even when it's five minutes AFTER you were supposed to be somewhere and you're still rushing around trying to get there for whatever reason. To hell with timeliness--get some coffee and cake and put on your wedding dress. You'll feel better ;)