Ten years ago, these two lovebirds said "I do." Of course, because it was our wedding, and we are anything but predictable and classy, we said those words only after an asshole groomsman--*cough* CG *cough*--had pretended to forget our wedding bands, and I finally shouted, "Fine, just use this" before handing over my engagement ring. Super suave and glamorous, just as we were aiming for.
I should have known, however, that these antics and impatience would speak to the next decade we spent together. When we got engaged, like many couples, I think we started having expectations--we began to imagine, separately and together, what our life would look like and what our future would hold. Even in our hopes and dreams we were simple: we wanted to make enough money to have fun, talked about having kids in a roundabout way and creating a family much like the ones we both grew up in, and we wanted to experience life in the easiest and best way possible.
Like that fateful wedding day when we stood there, looking at those jackass groomsmen who thought they were hysterical, waiting for them to produce the wedding bands as planned, many of our experiences in ten years have been expecting one thing, and then turning in circles wondering where to start when said thing didn't go as planned.
But now, I think we might be able to say whatever circles we've been turned in, and whatever disappointments we have endured--because, despite what people want you to believe, life is full of disappointment, failed goals and dreams, failed pregnancies, and just the daily nagging question of what the hell do I do now?--the real reason for our marriage still stands: we really fucking love each other.
Decade one has shown us that communication has to be straight forward and honest. It has shown us that happiness has to be grabbed, wrestled to the ground, and held onto every day, because something is going to try and eclipse it (even something small, like asking a question in the wrong tone of voice...it's a thing). And it has shown us that whatever plans we have are just as likely to go horribly wrong as they are to succeed, and ten yeas later, you won't remember why it mattered. All we will remember is that when we woke up this morning, it was together (in the same room but separate beds because we have been married for ten years and no longer feel the need to squeeze into a full bed just to sleep with each other)... with the dog and the daughter both staring at us, ready for breakfast and a play date...and you rolled over because you've gotten up first the past two weeks and it was only fair that I do it...but despite all that, it was happiness
I felt in knowing you were next to me. And that tomorrow you would have to get up first ;)
Happy ten year anniversary, Old Man River. Here's to decade number two.