Pardon the Interruption...Except for Today.
My moon sign is Cancer. Wait for it--I promise there is a point, one that even sort-of relates to my promise to interrupt my life and remove myself from my rut.
My family laughs (mostly my two older sister because they are both major assholes whom I love dearly), but I believe deeply in the power of the universe and all of its elements. As a Cancer, I am a water sign, heavily influenced by emotion. My needs are complex, even in their simplicity: I need to be with my loved ones, nurture our relationships, and spend time doing the beautiful and simple things. I need to be near water, to feel loved, and to make people happy.
Buuuut...being a Cancer also means I'm moody, hypersensitive to all the emotions from all the people, and that I retreat pretty often for some recharge time because I love too hard. (To which I say: see, darling sisters, my shit is accurate and on point. Bring on the moon water and crystals, I am about to balance the hell out of you.)
This week, I was reminded that life sometimes interrupts itself and offers us a little bit of chaos, no help needed.
I feel almost like I'm confessing, admitting that I had a chance--several, if I'm being honest--to interrupt my usual "no, thanks," attitude and open myself to new social experiences and I did not, in fact, take them.
Anyone who is also in the middle of their own January work-mode is probably not judging me right now. (Except for my sister, Laura, to whom I did say no. She's judging me hard. And also coming up with a lie that forces me to say yes next time. She's a Scorpio and diabolical that way.)
I had meetings every day after school this week, save Friday. Liv had basketball and dance three nights...and those of you with multiple children are like, Yeah? Where's the chaos?
Right--perspective. Always good to have.
Upon reflection, scheduled and full as it was, my week was not fraught with fires and unexpected moments; it was not full of too many activities for me to handle, leading to desperate texts or calls for help. And still...
It was a week of "looking-ahead" to make sure we got it all. A week of trying to leave work at work, of not being weighed down by theory versus reality, or the many needs of those I interact with daily. So, when my sister offered me a weekend away, I said no. Not because I don't love my middle sister, and not because skiing and sledding and spending time with family didn't sound good, but because I was not ready to rush and plan and wake up early and pack the truck and have to persuade and remind Liv why she is, in fact, a good skier who does, at times, really freaking enjoy it. (Not all of the time. Some of the time, she sings down the mountain. Others? She cries. And cries. And generally makes her distaste known.)
All I wanted was a quiet weekend outside with Old Man River and my girls.
A winter beach on an aimless Saturday, followed by tacos and the mustachio twins? The best. Even better? I ate before four o'clock and got to wear my Crocs before five;) And I don't even feel bad about it. This is, apparently, one of the negatives of being a Cancer: I can be moody and withdrawn to recharge. Who knew? (Everyone. I get it. You all knew. I can be a hermitty-asshole. Love you anyways.)
The moral of this slightly convoluted confession/informational lesson: saying no less doesn't mean always saying yes. Maybe it means No, because today we are doing something simple, something important, like walking on the beach and being silly at linner (dunch? Or is this supper?). Maybe taking time to say no is just as important as having the courage to say yes...or I'm just crazy-lazy and have already negated my New Year's promise 2 weeks in. I guess that's up to your interpretation. (Not yours, Laura. I already know which one you've chosen, and I still don't care.)
Whichever conclusion you've come to, here's to next week, and to all of you. I hope your weekends were spent in whatever way you needed.